I have had the privilege to work with women for the past 20 years. During these years I’ve seen many women crushed and heartbroken. I’ve dealt with women that had no self-image and a hopeless future.

During this time, sitting on the outside, looking in on these women’s lives, I noticed a pattern. Week after week a woman would come for counselling, week after week they will tell their story, but it never seemed to make a difference. Now, don’t get me wrong and don’t misunderstand; counselling, whether with a friend, a pastor or a professional, is a crucial step to heal, change or better yourself, but that is exactly what it is, a step. You need to take the next step at some point, yes, you might fail and fall a few steps back, but then you go through your steps again. Don’t stay in the circumstances, don’t wallow in your pain, and don’t keep it in your heart and mind… move forward!

Remember at all times, you were born to be a success. Everything you need to be successful is already within you. Your choices and mind-set will determine if you are going to be successful or not. I always say it like this – Life is like a game of cards! We pick up the first card highlights past hurts from your childhood. For weeks on end you will talk about it, you will cry – and that is perfectly ok to do. But there comes a time to stop crying and pick up the next card … lift your head, decide to change your life and leave the negative things behind.

Bad cards can pop up out of the deck of cards several times for different reasons. Some days you are dealt a bad hand. Just when you think you are ready to go forward, you get a bad card! But that is what it is, a bad hand or a bad card in our game called life. When we are on our quest for success and we are looking for our true selves it happens, but don’t spend all your time and energy focussing on the bad cards of life. From birth, we get so many negative emotions, abuse, neglect and all you can do is:  Face the card, work through it before you can believe in yourself.

If you don’t believe in yourself – you will not be a success. Earlier in my life I was managing a safe house for street girls. We had one little girl – let’s call her Mary. Mary’s mom, her brother and her sister lived on the street. However, Mary had a chance in life. She was in an orphanage up to the age of 18. She was at school, did well and finished her grade 11. Then, as she turned 18, she could no longer stay in the orphanage. Needless to say, Mary went to stay with her mom on the street.

When we started the safe house Mary was one of the first girls to come and stay with us. Her background and education in the orphanage developed potential within her. (With her education and growing up in the orphanage she had the look and feel of a girl that had potential.) After some time in the safe house Mary received an opportunity to work in the reception of a small company – just doing filing etc. She did great job and the people she worked for were very happy with her!

Until one day … where, what I call the ‘fight or flight’ mode, kicked in and Mary took flight.

Either you are going to make the decision to be a success and you are going to fight for what you believe and want to be, OR you will go into ‘flight’ mode and run away from success so that you don’t need to make any changes or decisions in your life. That is just the easier way!

What are you going to do? Are you going to fight for what you want to be – successful OR are you going to take flight every time success stares you in the face? It was written:  I am now giving you the choice between life and death…. choose life. What are you choosing?