Change starts with me. I know that without a shadow of a doubt, but once I get caught up in the day to day struggle for survival I feel and think that change is impossible. I have found myself, so many times, in a rut I promised myself I would never fall into again. That might sound dispiriting, but I have some great news!

Since I’ve had to get out of this rut multiple times, I’ve found a sure fire way out! It’s through changing your mind. It is a simple process with minimal fanfare, but bucket loads of dogged determination is required.

1. Listen to yourself – inside and outside.

Carry a little notebook and pen with you or use the memo app on your phone. Every time you hear a rude or hopeless thought in your mind, write it down. Every time you insult or demean yourself, your abilities or your work, write the main idea down.


2. Recognize the status quo thoughts in your mind.

At some point you’ll see the common denominator in all these life-sapping thoughts. You’ll realize that they all point to one single messed up idea of yourself or the world. This belief is the root cause of your negative thought pattern.


3. Counter them with the truth.

Whether you belief it or not, there is hope for you and for every person on this planet. That is the truth. The old adage ‘as long as there is life, there is hope’ is truer than you know. I guess even the politically incorrect version ‘it ain’t over till the fat lady sings’ has a point.


4. Do it consistently.

Ladies, this is the clincher. It’s like dieting. Anyone can do it for a few days… okay, a few hours at least! The only difference is that the rewards of a changed mind are exponentially more numerous than the rewards of a thinner body.


5. Don’t stop, even when you start to see the change in and around you.

When change starts to happen, we sometimes drop our guard in absolute astonished relief. We shout ‘eureka!’ just to find our face in the mud a moment later. Counter the lie with the truth. Every. Time. Period.

I used to think I’m hideous. (I should have had my eyes checked out, right?) I simply couldn’t lose the fourteen kilograms I had picked up during my sleepless year after my second borne son. No matter the diet or exercise regime. I would lose three kilograms and pick up four. On and on and on it went.

Until one day I faced the music. Deep down I knew I wasn’t losing weight, because I was insecure about my attractiveness. I rolled up my sleeves, dropped the diets and exercise routines, and faced my fear. I stood in front of the mirror, feeling every fat roll and dimple. Looking myself in the eye, I whispered: “I am beautiful.”

All the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I need to be institutionalized for crazy-talk!

Again, I pronounced: “I am beautiful.” Feeling slightly gutsier… I exclaimed: “I am BEAUTIFUL.” For the first time I noticed the pretty golden flecks in my blue-green eyes. And I believed.

Only seven kilo’s to go. Watch this space!

For more simple and easy step-by-step guides, visit me on my blog or Facebook page @desireeuys88.