The fight for personal growth and a changed life – Desiree Uys

I am exquisite. I am strong. I am capable. I have what it takes to succeed. I am without rival. No one on the face of the earth can be or do or touch or change the way I can. My combination of strengths, my personality, my experience, my network and my sphere of influence are completely unique to me.

Do you think this perspective fell on me like rain?

It didn’t. I had to fight for it. You can too. The effects are beyond your imagination and permeate your entire life and person.

This process was like planting a garden: sweaty, dirty business. Firstly, the back breaking work of loosening the soil must happen. Secondly, the weeding and taming of overgrown and unwanted vegetation must happen.

Wiping the slate clean doesn’t happen in a single stroke, in case you didn’t know. Wiping the slate clean is the hardest part just like clearing land for a garden is the most exhausting. But that, in and of itself, won’t change your life. Rewriting the slate with a firm purpose in mind, will.

If you don’t decide what you want in your garden and where you want it, it will simply go to seed again.

You can choose the default words of your inner critic. Successful people understand that. You can speak words filled with life, light and hope instead of destruction and despair.

Horace said “Rule your mind or it will rule you.” Gerald Jumpolsky and his colleague wrote a book called Change Your Mind, Change Your Life. Paul, a founding father of the church said: “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Mahatma Ghandi said: “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” King Solomon of old said: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Even Peter Pan said: “Just think happy thoughts and you’ll fly.”

The cat is out of the bag! This concept is simple enough for most people to comprehend. What people don’t realise is that even though it is simple… IT ISN’T EASY!

That’s because there are millions of voices drifting like a breeze in your mind that say you can’t, you don’t have what it takes, you are too young, too old, too poor, too weak, too fat, too dark, too small, too big, too much and not enough.

I have decided to shut the door in the face of those thoughts. Every time.

At first it was difficult to spot the lies, but after a while I could spot them a mile away. Then it became exhausting. I realised I experience wave after diabolical wave of debilitating thoughts.

But I have good news for you!

As time went by, and I continued to choose the truth over the lie, it became easier and easier. The wave of negative thoughts felt like a raging bear, but within two weeks these thoughts became like little irritating flies I flick away without batting an eye.

At that same time wonderful and seemingly unrelated things started happening.

The first thing I noticed was that I had lost a considerable amount of excess weight without dieting or exercising. This, after multiple failed attempts. My stagnant business experienced a surge of new clients. Money owed to me for months finally started coming in. My attempts at changing the lives of the women around me finally started to materialize. My close relationships experienced a new and tender sparkle.

I don’t believe all this happened simply as a result of happy vibes or good karma. This happened as a result of a tired mind and heart that was refreshed, encouraged and invigorated. I simply had the courage to go on and try again. King David, an ancient Israeli king, “encouraged himself in the Lord.” He knew that no one else was responsible for his attitude and perspective on life.

Most of the time we are waiting for our friends, family, spouses and colleagues to tell us:

we are capable;
we have what it takes;
we are brilliant and beautiful;
we are strong; or
we are good at this or that.

We wait for the validation and permission of others. It is wonderful to hear those things from others, but those poor souls are on their own journey and fighting their own battle. Let us alleviate them and ourselves from this burden and allow them to bloom by firstly allowing ourselves to bloom.

So ladies, remember the unchanging truth: “Change starts with me.”

It is an internal job with both internal and external rewards. Like losing excess weight, improving your marriage or increasing your quality of life.

Think of a growing seed. At first all its energy is put towards the growing of its root. The sower of the seed sees nothing happening for two weeks or more. Then, one day, it sprouts a blade. That is simply the result of deep work.

The next time you hear words like: